Never Thought This Happening to Me

 

if you see this writing, i think you're in a wrong way 

you're still here? i said you're wrong..

i want to say bullshit of this situations,

what happen? i also don't know

i can't believe this happening to me. i don't know what is this

i don't know

mixed feelings but there is no trigger, feelings blues dominant over the other feelings.

could laugh and happy at the right time, but after that back to blues 

seem you thought  crying helps to vent this feelings, but i thought what for.

couldn't feel relieved but more depressed. people seen me crying and blues, but they ignored when they know what me do for no reasons. cause there is no reasons..

what's next? talk to other people? do consultations? talk to family? i thought it isn't the answer.. it is not the answer, what shloud i tell, nothing to tell. it's clear right, no reason why me blues,

why me crying..

i think i'm stressed out with no reasons. hate someone and harbored? mmm it's natural right? just because hate someone and harbored. 

they disparaged me, i must to do the same? i knew isn't right. eventually all can i do is silence.

play it safe 

i do something right, never hate them, never do the same as them. the right answer is harbored.

even though  bad for my health. harbor hate feelings cultivate deep hate feelings more. i wanna

say fuck them. but it's wrong way. 

I do something wrong? but why in all of the situations they're always  blame me? i knew now, all this time my stress becausen't  outsider, but the insider around me. although i has

forgotted it  several times, but it's happening again. and keep continues

why "kamboja" flower? i don't know. i think this flower which very representative  this situations.  first glance this flower looks beautiful, but at the same time looks sacred and mistical.

the reason, this flower in indonesian found a lot in graves.  already understands the connections?  

to the point. this feelings make me think out louds death is the way out. narrow minded? whatever you thought, clearly from the beginning i said,  you seen this writing is a mistakes. 

so, go away!